Same and Different

All Human beings are the same, all are different.
Now how does one actually believe it to be true. A simple fact - the human mind, so vast as an ocean of memories and thoughts, can bring out any possibility to a situation. Just as in the case of the parallel universes, when a single certain outcome can give out so many mind boggling results. After all, who in the entire Earth has lived his/her life perfectly, everyone has some moments in the past when they wished they could have acted a bit differently. So, putting oneself in a particular situation, one can act similar to the other one, and extending this theory to a large scale, we can find out two human beings to be the same.
But on the other hand, the decisions and actions at that particular moment decide what person you really are, and this is where, arises the concept of individuality. One decides to go one step further, while the other doesn't and that one step decides the outcome of the event, which we HUMANS have glorified as FATE. Based upon those decisions, we can figure out how different humans are really from one another.
This is just one small example of a very many myriad of examples that lay open to us in the very world we live. Sometimes we just have to sit back and ponder over such things. Other times, you just feel miserable like you gulped a liter of sea water when you feel really down.
Sick, isn't it??
Even I can't understand myself. Gotta help myself then think of helping the world with worthless shit, that everyone's so eager to buy.

One last cigarette

Prick, the first word that came to my mind when I woke up at 2pm in the afternoon. I realised I'm in a frigging financial crunch, like what, spending a half a lakh bucks since april this year; ain't look like a big deal for a couch-potato millionaire, but it is for me. Yup, myself. I would wanna reframe myself. A banana who's been peeled off his skin and left to rot out in the sahara desert.

But here I am, as worse as the situation could be, and I am not helping it get any better. I feel the world looking down on me and showing me of being unworthy to everything in my life. I don't get any of this. I don't even understand why I am writing this friggin' blog. Oh, now I realise that it is only in the direst of circumstances that I write such blogs. And I hope that one day, I, myself will be reading this blog someday, contemplating that rash actions I took in my now-wasted life.

I almost seem to have forgotten why I began to write this blog. So, I'm sweaty(haven't taken a bath for the last two days), itchy(all bitchy mosquitoes and insects here), lost(no comments) and wasted(for the very first time, am realising it) and I'm intently staring down to this one last cigarette wondering where all this time went by. Have you ever thought that this small friggin' thing might actually put such random thoughts into your mind. I getting off really crazy here and I can hear myself explicitly saying,' I'm stoned for a lifetime.'

P.S. Am watching Entourage, first season, on a roll, and it's awesome and shitty, cuz it makes me want to wanna have a life like that, that i now believe isn't true anymore.

But what of the last cigarette???

The distant ship's smoke on the horizon

The distant white light seemed to be over-flowing, rather overwhelming me as soon as I let down my defences. My eyes were unable to fight the arrows of light from very distant source of white light. Some random person had once prophesized that at the end of the era, you will witness armageddon followed by the glimpse of the only way to Heaven after that - The Final Path of Oblivion. I never believed that man's words, thought it was just the bullshit any friggin old man would givýa, yet here I was in the unpredictable situation. I thought it was rather too early, but even so that path is inevitable.

Suddenly, a thunder struck with a powerful electric shock that I felt, surge through my entire body. It was through the music of a truly extraordinary shock that -

"One of these days,

Things will never say,that,

Tomorrow never comes,

when you say nothing at all, when it becomes so,

Complicated.

Yet, you feel so,

Comfortably Numb,

Time,
will slip away, but you still keep,

High Hopes.

How I, Wish You were Here,

running at the,

Speed of sound,

Surrounding me, everywhere,

Yellow.

When she asks you for,

Cocaine,

Won't get fooled again,

you reply, and you tell her to,

Die Another Day.

I've got a name,

R.E.S.P.E.C.T , it,

Anything else but You,

I don't wanna be,

Chasing Pavements.

And Finally,

This is what I feel,

'On a Dark, Desert Highway,

Cool Wind in my Hair,

Warm smell of Colitas,

Rising up though the air,

Wishing to go the distance,

I go to M.T,

jus what I do in this stance,

I just wanna sut D.

But the music drives me crazy,

I don't wanna go too deep

I makes me sight go hazy,

Jus really need some sleep.'

- Deadman undisputed.

Nandato!!!!"

There, I really did think I had a guitar. But how did I really come to this pinch. I didn't plan to be dope. But wait there is sill hope,

or was it,

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

just a puff of smoke.

And there I go, again.

"Hello, Hello, is there anybody in there..............

Finally Monsoon arrives at Kanpur

The past month had been very hot, just like hell (in Constantine, the movie). You just couldn't go out in the day as early as nine in the morning. Such was the heat of the scorching sun that I had could not visit the shopping centre,at a distance of about 500 metres, for an entire month. If you slept in during the day, you had to make sure to have towels nearby cuz when you woke up you would find yourself drowning in your own sweat.
But finally, it seems that God has bestowed some mercy upon the people of Kanpur, considering the fact that Kanpur was one of the last places in India where monsoon hadn't shown its presence.
Now the temperature too has dropped a lot of degrees, much less than the 45 degrees celsius, that was regular a week back. Taking respite in the fact that times will be much cooler now, all the kids at Hall-2 (most actually, I was one of the few who missed it) rejoiced the first monsoon rains playing touch rugby. Quite a lot of fun, huh? Me?? I was dozing off in the library, inside of which you couldn't tell if it was drought or snowing on the outside of the lib. Nevertheless, I too got my share of the monsoon rain the same night as I was coming out of the computer centre. It does feel quite different, when the first drops of rain wash you out. You sure feel resurrected, well I did, at least.

Who is to blame?

I woke up suddenly. I realised that i have sweat on my forehead. My hands feel cold, my feet numb. I can still feel my heart thumping my chest as if it were trying to break free out of a cage, as if it knew the last moments of life were near and it wanted to live to it's fullest at it's final time. My final time, that is. Too similar to the way I've lived my life actually. Living carefree through and through, but when the time came for it to end, desperately trying to hold on, to manage it through somehow. I had been able to it until some time back, my luck ran out. I've never been a superstitious kinda guy (never means from the time of my puberty), but luck was something that would always hint of me going to that side of the world which I so much denied to. Good luck charms, huh. People around me would do all sorts of rubbish like wearing speciaaly made rings, threads, etc. Among these people, my Mom would come first. I would apologise to her for saying things like this about her, if I could; but lately, almost throughout my adoloscence, I become more and more short-tempered. Anger has taken control to such an extent that the simplest of signs to express love have evaded me as if I was not human. Maybe I've become an alien. Here's where I bring my dream in.
The world around me has changed. It surely did look different with dark skies haunted by a bright yellowish moon hanging like an orb behind those faintly painted clouds. A chilling wind fills up the vacuum. I can see some sort of creatures looking at me from behind those short bushes.
Ironically, it looks like an ideal shooting set for a horror serial, but there was something omnious.
I could feel a presence that was making me so weak that it was hard for me to stand on my legs.
My knees ached, my bones seemed hollow. Then I noticed one of those dark creatures come forward to be illuminated by the light. I recognised him to be my best friend. Behind him I saw more familiar faces coming forward into the light. I even saw my parents and my brother. But then terror struck like a lightening. I wasn't sure how but it seemed like the ground was giving away, creating a hole of entire darkness. My mind was telling me to run away, but my legs won't respond. It was as if the nerves in my legs were cut off. I tried to cry out to all those familiar faces, but then I realised what had been so omnious about the atmosphere. It was all so mute.
The hole in the ground was pulling me inside it as if it were a black hole. I wasn't even sure if this emptiness terrified me anymore. The darkness, shallowness, it seemed were inevitable and somehow, my mind was silently waiting for it.
As I opened my eyes, my dream reflected upon the reality. Everything was going blur, darkness rising up , ironically, just as sun rises to spread light everywhere. I felt like someone had slit open my throat, or why else would I be unable to hear my own voice. Maybe I'd gone deaf. Yeah, that must be it. They say when you approach your end, you start losing your senses one by one, with the last being the sense of vision. I wondered why it had to be the last. People said that when you are about to die, your life flashes before your eyes, all in an instant. But my case was different. Was I supposed to be angry about this or be glad that it will all soon be over? I didn't know what to feel. If I were superstitious, I could have blamed it on the Devil, but I am not. My vision was darkening more and more. Was there a way that this could be stopped. But again my mind said that rather than having to face the troubles and hardships of life, it is better to go into the arms of pure, supreme and eternal peace. NO, what if I do not want eternal peace; what if I wanted to face the hardships of life?? As my mind pondered over these silly things, little did I realise that my heart, which until a moment ago was ready to burst out of my chest had been quite out of the picture. It seemed to have gone silent. Maybe this was it. But, hang on, I can still see. Yes, I can...
But all that was left for me to see was a dense, sticky red fluid, a long white piece of paper drained over it and a glimpse of the most shockingly bright silver...

Facebook Games (Mafioso incl.)e

Considering the special madness caused in IITK, due to the recent popularisation of simple, yet addictive games at facebook, I sought to find out what exactly caused this and what impacts it places upon the ones who've been struck by this lightening-kinda phenomenon. First of all, it all goes to the guys who actually made facebook popular among the young kids of Y8 batch and myself included, there are a few guys who took the fame away from 'orkut', which had until recently been sitting at the prime position. Now it is seriously being threatened by 'facebook', which was being sidelined until now due to it's supposed complexity in functioning and applications.

     But now I would not hesitate in stating that 'facebook' has dethroned 'orkut' as the most popular social-site. When the hall computer centre was open, there were a lot of occasions when you could see every single comp. occupied by a facebook user. One part in the rise of facebook also goes the 'Mafioso'- a simple game on facebook which has no first person shooting or anything active going on in the screen that will keep you attached onto it. First-time lookers, probably think the guy's gone crazy but as they keep seeing a lot of people playing, they too get curious about it and start to find out what's so very interesting in this game. And without seen by anybody, is spread the virus, a virus so deadly, that if you have your endsem tomorrow and you haven't studied a thing, you would surely come to the CC to devote about half an hour for this game. It doesn't matter even if it kills more time than you could possibly imagine, but the realisaiton comes only after you've lost all the precious time that you will never get back. 

    These precious little games on facebook are very much entertaining but once you give into it, it will definitely result in destroying you in ways only you could understand, but only when it is too late to make any amends for the mistakes you have done. But, alas, this is only my case that I have written about. Who knows what happened to the others who walked alongside me to the valley of doom...